How to say NO to peer pressure

How to say NO to peer pressure AND feel confident about your decisions.

Introduction

Book: The Art Of Saying NO: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted (Without Feeling Guilty!)

Goals: My overarching goal for this project after reading this book was simple. Avoid peer pressure. I decided to specify these goals into the two scenarios in which I am peer pressured most. Therefore, by using the concepts from the book, I could accomplish the following specific goals:

1. Eat in every weeknight
2. Go to the gym 4 days a week

Overview

One critical aspect of this book discusses our natural urge to be a “people pleaser”.  Prior to reading this book and applying these strategies I was also a people pleaser, and it was miserable.

Have you ever said yes to someone and immediately after, felt a sense of regret and disappointment? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

In order to apply the strategies, I first wrote out all the things I was agreeing to, and which of those decisions brought me a sense of disappointment. After I had my list, I figured out what it was I was trying to accomplish. I broke it down into the goals listed above.

You see, the reasons behind not accomplishing these goals all originated from my poor decisions making and inability to say no. Going to the gym for example, was not about finding motivation or the time, it was about turning down the other options I had available. Every morning, I faced the choice of going to the gym, or joining my roommate for coffee. Up until reading the book, I felt responsible for going with him, and was too afraid to turn down his offer. The same situation applies to eating in on weeknights. Very rarely do I eat alone, it is usually with friends or colleagues. I knew I wanted to save money by staying in to eat dinner, however when the offer from friends came along to go out, I felt I was responsible for respecting their offer and attending. Every time I wanted to say no, a little voice in my head was there to change my mind. This is where the strategies listed above came in handy.

If you too are constantly seeking validation and facing internal battles with battle peer pressure, I urge you to read forward and read this book. The strategies I am going to share with you can be used in all facets of life and can be applied to take advantage of your decisions making process, for good!

Strategies

1. The first strategy, speak directly and honestly about your decisions, refers to how you approach your conversations with others. This strategy requires you to be upfront and honest about your answer to any decision you are faced with. Often, after we say no or turn someone down, we feel a sense of disappointment, and feel as if we have let that person down. Often, that feeling originates from within, and it can be corrected. One of the largest reasons we feel disappointed is because we have taken time to feel sorry for ourselves and to explain ourselves. If you are honest and upfront with your decisions, this feeling will subside.
2. The second strategy, prioritize your time and needs, is perhaps one of the most critical components of taking control of your time. This strategy allows you to take preventative action, before you are even tasked with a tough decision. This strategy, tasks you with the following process. The first box states “Think about everything you want to accomplish in your day.” The second box states, “Write out all these items and how long each will take.” The third box states, “Leave an alloted amount of ‘free time’ in each day.”

Following this process enables you to prioritize your daily needs and tasks. If a situation arises that comes in conflict with the items listed above, say no. Specifically, say no directly and honestly.

Tracking Methods

Tracking my progress using these strategies was simple, thanks to MyFitnessPal

• Goal #1
  • MyFitnessPal allows you to track food, water, and exercise for the day.
  • This allowed me to remain consistent and loyal to my goal. It will also serve as a reminder to avoid unnecessary expenditures on meals.
  • One way I seemed to have perfected this strategy, was entering in my meals ahead of time. By planning what I would have for dinner, and already have the information tracked in the app, it helped me stick to my goal when an opportunity arose for me to go out and eat.
  • By applying the strategies above, I no longer felt guilty about denying eating with friends, nor did I feel pressured to accept an offer I did not like.

• Goal #2
  • MyFitnessPal also allows you to track exercise for the day.
  • I used similar strategies to those listed above to stay consistent. By imputing my workouts at the beginning of the day, I have provided myself evidence that I will go to the gym and stick to a plan.

Conclusion

The Art of saying No will make you transition from always pleasing others to prioritizing your own needs and desires. This project and strategies are not just about how to rebuff your schedule and requests for time. The goal is to learn to say no without feeling guilty. Saying “No” can be applied to all decisions we encounter.

Upon reflecting on my experiences I can say these strategies I have listed above have helped me regain my confidence and have given me new insight to my daily routine and priorities. The most critical piece of advice I can give is do not allow others to take you for granted, take control of your life, and know your worth.