What is happiness? What gives life meaning?
Happiness is something that we all strive for but seem to have a lack of in America. In a society of “never enough” and “more is better” it’s impossible to meet expectations. On top of that, no matter how niche our skills, hobbies, or jobs are, there is almost always someone better than you. Happiness is hard when you think about it, and the more you think about it, the harder it gets. Does happiness come from how well we do something? If we committed to a stricter schedule could it put us at ease?
Well let’s imagine that we take these questions to heart and look at ways we can improve ourselves. For me, I have a pretty big problem with procrastination. I remember in high school I used to wake up at 3:00 am to work on a chapter assignment for AP Government that was due that day. Why procrastinate? Because we don’t feel like doing it. Why study when we can watch some TV or go hang out with friends? Ingrained there as well was what I perceived as a lack of motivation. Since I saw areas for improvement in myself, I decided to take ESEPSY 1259.
At the beginning of the semester
I came into this class hoping to pick up some good behaviors that would help me structure my work routine. When I looked through the options for what to do my project on, motivation was a big focus, so I chose The Happiness Equation. I thought this book might get me to look differently at my life and change the way I think about things. Going through the first few portions of the book, I began to realize it wasn’t about happiness at all. The first “chapter” of the book simply tells you that first, you need to be happy. Even if it wasn’t quite what I was looking for, I still wanted to see what the book had to say. Maybe I would learn something from it if I stuck with it. There are a couple of things that I took away and I want to share them with you guys.
Before diving in I do want to give credit to Neil Pasricha. His book is very well written and is very easy to read. I found myself practically glued to it in thought whenever I decided to read it. He does a good job connecting with the white collar American and adding in his own experiences to make things feel relatable.
The Dos
#1
Just do it. This is a pretty early part of the book and it says that we spend way too much time trying to decide HOW to do things instead of just doing it and getting it over with. Obviously, these don’t relate to tough decisions like “when should I have a kid?” or “what career path is right for me?”. This is about mundane choices we make every day that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. This is stuff like what to wear for the day or what to eat for breakfast. Connecting this to work, I constantly try to bargain with myself so that I can delay when I do things and they usually inevitably get done close to their deadlines. One way the book tackles this is by setting artificial deadlines for yourself. Think of it as an alarm clock for your assignments. I used to work with a manager who always set his alarm clock for an arbitrary time like 7:13 am. Alarm clocks are a way we force ourselves to get up in the morning, but does it really need to be right on the turn of the hour? Of course not. We set deadlines for ourselves to motivate action. (Existentialist Café deserves credit for this alarm clock example.) We can similarly create deadlines for ourselves with something like a schedule planner and sticking to it.
Here is an example of one of my weeks all planned out beforehand. Not only does it help you to remember what all you have to do for the week, it also helps you stick to the schedule and prevents you from doing everything at the last second.
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#2
Do it for yourself. The only person who really matters in my life is me. This doesn’t mean I have to be a hedonist, but I must always keep myself in mind. I didn’t decide to go to college because I wanted to pay for my parent’s retirement home. I did it because I wanted to further my education and give myself better career opportunities. No one cares if you fail, so you have to be responsible and bring yourself up to the caliber that is acceptable to you. No one knows what kind of career path you should take better than yourself.
If you’re not sure where to start off, go in a direction that makes sense to you. Try to keep your options open because you might find that this thing you thought you wouldn’t like turned out to be really interesting. That being said, do not force yourself to stick with something you hate. You will make yourself miserable. Remember that you’re doing this for yourself, not anyone else.
My Freshman year of college I was lucky enough to get some help from a very impressive senior who was already going into her Master’s in Accounting. She gave me some advice on how to plan out my entire college career from start to finish. Following off her own schedule, I also used the planner to calculate my GPA based on the grade I got in each class. I have redacted that information because the point is not to focus on my grades. The point is that I didn’t have to do this, but it has been a useful tool that I have carried to this very day. I can even look ahead and see what happens when my grades aren’t so good in some classes.
This schedule has changed every semester by the way. I became much less ambitious as time went on because sticking to the same plan didn’t make sense to me anymore. Do it for yourself.
The Don’ts
#3
Don’t take advice. The sentence itself is a paradox, but there is actually a lot to take out of this. When we look for advice, we generally look for people who are going to give us the answers we want to hear. On top of that, there is conflicts in advice everywhere in culture. Who really knows what is right or wrong? It’s all up to you anyways. If you’re really going to do things for yourself, it is imperative that you take this point to heart.
What this is really getting at is that you should be self-reflective. Think your plans and actions through when stuff gets difficult or complicated. Ask yourself if the perceived end result is something you really want, or at least is better than all the other options. It isn’t hard to find someone who tells you to do the thing you already wanted to do. If you are really struggling with what to do and honestly can’t decide, ask yourself what your priorities are. If you need to, create a very general list of these priorities.
My College Major
Accounting: Why?
- I have a pretty good memory and attention to detail
- Math is usually easy for me to understand and this math is based on real numbers
- One of my high school teachers used to be an accountant and showed me some good opportunities
- Already invested a lot of time into business courses in high school
- Good money doing things other people hate to do
- Great job security, unless AI proves to be better than expected
- Financial security is important to me
If you ever have a problem to solve, just list out your options and the reasons for picking them. Then go over each option and eliminate them one by one until you are left with the best choice.
Conclusion
Now is the time to be much more explicit. When I read The Happiness Equation, I was pretty disappointed. Here was a book with happiness in the title and it had little to do with it. As I read through it I felt like the book was about how to make yourself more productive in a white-collar job. The book just told me to be happy and then work hard because that was my purpose in life. I couldn’t help but feel a little swindled.
Despite all this, there is merit to each and every point that was made in the book. The issue comes from taking these points as fact and living them to the letter. Big mistake. There are very few instances in which directions should be followed down to the last letter. These rules are put in place assuming you don’t know any better. The world is complicated because we as individuals are complicated.
This is where I want to bring in the most important thing in the world: the individual. The individual is me and only me but only to me. The individual is someone entirely different to you and anyone else who decides to read this thing. The reason the individual is so important is because it has to look out for itself. If I were to suddenly die, the world would not stand still or explode into quadrillions of pieces. I have to make choices for myself and live how I want to live.
Now I am not at all suggesting that one lives like a hedonist as I have already mentioned. We live in a society that allows for wonderful things like schools, hospitals, and microwavable pizzas (which we also need microwaves for). Try to picture a reality where society doesn’t exist. Could you imagine trying to learn things without books? You would have to learn everything virtually by trial and error. If you broke your leg you’d have to splint it yourself and hope that it was done well enough that you don’t develop a limp for the rest of your life. Food would be scarce and you’d either have to grow it yourself or hunt for yourself.
The point I’m trying to make is that we really can’t live without society, and I honestly don’t think anyone would truly want to. That means our consequences have actions and we owe it to ourselves to live up to them. Don’t take advice, consider it. Learn from others and your own experiences and use it to shape who you really want to be. Don’t let anyone decide that for you. This also means that you will change. Your priorities and the things you love will change. Don’t feel like you must stick to something that you hate. You have the freedom to make a change, even if it may be difficult.
I honestly don’t think I have changed my behavior much in terms of motivation or procrastination like I initially wanted to, but that’s okay. My grades are just fine, and I have enjoyed the opportunity to learn more about myself. More importantly, I feel more comfortable with myself, which is part of what being happy necessitates. Don’t fool yourself into being someone you aren’t. It’s a disservice to yourself and you’ll only have yourself to blame for your misery.
If you really want to change, put the effort in and make it happen. Do it for you.